? Long time no see, Big Teach.
Koro Sensei ID Yes. Payday's come at last. Japan's cheap snacks are of superb quality. More than worth the effort of disguising myself, I'd say.
Viche Stop that!
? Aw, just come with us, will ya?
Viche But I have to get to my new teaching job!
? So you're a teacher!
? Hey, we could use a little tutoring ourselves!
Koro Sensei ID How about a crash course in \Npicking up women from your car? Lesson 1: it is vital to decorate your car beautifully. Wriggly wrapping!
? The car's covered in ribbons!
Koro Sensei ID There is no Lesson 2. Are you all right?
Viche Thank you so much! I thought chivalry was dead. I'll never forget your kindness! By the way, do you know how to get to Kunugigaoka Junior High?
Karasuma ID Now, allow me to introduce your new English teacher.
Viche My name's Irina Jelavich. It's wonderful to meet you all!
Hiroto Maehara ID What a knock-out!
Taiga Okaijama ID What knockers!
Megu Kataoka ID Wait... Why's she all over him? Who'd have thought you'd be a teacher here?
Manami Okuda ID I hate her already.
Koro Sensei ID I'm wearing a wig.
Viche Oh, I don't mind!
Karasuma ID One of our school goals is to give you \Nauthentic experience in foreign languages. I trust there'll be no objections to her taking over half your English lessons?
Koro Sensei ID Well, if you insist.
Kaede Kayani ID We've got us one heck of a teacher! What's more, she seems to really have a thing for Korosensei.
Nagisa Shiota ID Uh-huh. I might get some new hints for the assassination out of this. I guess Korosensei wouldn't know what to do with a human woman hanging all over him. His face has so many unique colors... so what color is "bewilderment"?
Yuma Isogai ID He's just plain smitten!
Kaede Kayani ID There's no mistaking that face.
Nagisa Shiota ID I guess he's fine with a human, too.
Viche The more I look at you, \Nthe more I like what I see. Your beady eyes, like two diarrhea pills... Your strange, floppy limbs... Why, you're positively captivating!
Koro Sensei ID How embarrassing!
Hinata Okano ID Don't fall for it, Korosensei!
Rio Nakamura ID {\i1}No woman finds those things attractive!
Nagisa Shiota ID {\i1}We're not that dense. {\i1}Any teacher who would join us under these circumstances {\i1}probably has more to them than meets the eye.
Koro Sensei ID Hup! Pass! Hup! Kill!
Viche I had all kinds of ways to approach him prepared. I just never thought seduction would work.
Karasuma ID {\i1}Irina Jelavich, professional assassin. {\i1}With her drop-dead gorgeous looks and fluency in ten languages, {\i1}she can bewitch targets from anywhere in the world {\i1}and eliminate even the most heavily guarded marks from point-blank range with ease. {\i1}Her finesse at infiltration and approach has raised her assassinations to an art form.
Karasuma ID However, we can't just hire an assassin to work at a school. You'll also need to do some teaching for the sake of appearances.
Viche I'm a pro. I'll finish the job before it comes to that.
Koro Sensei ID Hup! Pass!
ID Karma Hup! Kill!
Koro Sensei ID Hup! Pass!
Hinata Okano ID Hup! Kill!
Koro Sensei ID Hup! Pa—
Viche Korosensei! Oh, Korosensei! Karasuma-sensei tells me you're oh-so-very fast! Is that true?
Koro Sensei ID Well, I wouldn't say I'm {\i1}that{\i0} fast.
Viche {\an8}Could you do me a favor? {\an8}I'd love to try some real Vietnamese coffee. {\an8}Do you think you could bring me some \Nduring English class?
Koro Sensei ID Why, of course. I happen to know a great café in Vietnam.
Yuma Isogai ID Er... Irina-sensei? Class is starting. Shouldn't we go back in?
Viche Class? Oh, right. Just make it study hall or something. Also, could you not call me by my first name? I won't be playing teacher unless that octopus is around, so you will refer to me as Miss Jelavich.
ID Karma So what are you going to do, Miss Bitch?
Viche It's "vich"!
ID Karma You're an assassin, right? The entire class together couldn't take down this monster, but you're going to kill him all by yourself? Still a child, I see. Grown-ups have their own grown-up ways of doing things. You must be Shiota Nagisa. Come to the staff room later. I'd like to see what you have on him. The same goes for anyone else with key intel! I'll give you something good in return. If you girls prefer, you can have one of my men instead. It's a pro's job to have both technique and connections. You brats go watch from the outfield. Oh, and one more thing. If you interfere even slightly with my assassination, I won't hesitate to kill you.
Nagisa Shiota ID {\i1}Kisses powerful enough to make you swoon. {\i1}Tough-looking companions. {\i1}And a threat delivered with unfaltering determination. {\i1}We knew at once that she was the real deal: \Na professional killer. {\an8}Sorry for that awful farce this morning. {\i1}But at the same time, \Nmost of the class knew something else: {\i1}that they {\i0}hated{\i1} her.
Viche {\i1}I've never killed an unidentified life-form like this before. {\i1}Everything's ready. {\i1}The boy's shared his intel with me.
Nagisa Shiota ID We've managed to destroy single tentacles before, \Nbut that doesn't faze him. It's possible that you might have to destroy all his tentacles at once. He can easily escape before you finish him off. And... If you're planning to sneak up on him, you probably shouldn't smoke.
Koro Sensei ID {\an8}Hello there. Oh, those chocolate bamboo-shoot cookies!
Nagisa Shiota ID Korosensei has a keen sense of smell for someone with no nose.
Viche {\i1}That won't conflict with my plan. {\i1}I am Irina Jelavich, a pro among pros {\i1}who's pulled off assassinations in all kinds of circumstances.
Hiroto Maehara ID C'mon, Miss Bitch, are you teaching us or what?
Rio Nakamura ID Yeah, Miss Bitch!
Sosuke Sugaya ID I mean, you {\i1}are{\i0} a teacher here, right, Miss Bitch?
Viche Quit your "bitch"ing! For one thing, they're pronounced differently! You Japanese just can't differentiate between "B" and "V"! I'll teach you the correct way to pronounce "V." First, lightly bite your bottom lip. Go on! Yes, that's right. Now stay like that for an hour \Nand give me some peace and quiet.
Taiga Okaijama ID {\i1}What kind of lesson is this?!
Karasuma ID I understand you've brought in a rather shady trio. I wasn't informed of this.
Viche Yes: all pros, all more than competent, not to mention tight-lipped. They're so in love with me \Nthey'll do whatever I ask. For free. Everything's set up. Today I act.
Koro Sensei ID Irina-sensei! Here's the Indian chai you requested.
Viche Oh, thank you, Korosensei! Just what I wanted for my afternoon tea! Oh, and Korosensei, I'd like to speak with you. Could you come to the \Nequipment shed during fifth period?
Koro Sensei ID Speak with me? But of course. Fifth period, right? I'll be there with certain-tea! You know, since chai's a tea? Get it?
ID Koki Mimura Hey, now. You kiddin' me? They're headin' for the shed together?!
Sosuke Sugaya ID Kind of a let-down,
Koro Sensei ID {\an8}My trip to India was perfect chai-ming, don't you think?
Sosuke Sugaya ID Watching Korosensei fall for such an obvious ploy.
Megu Kataoka ID Karasuma-sensei? I don't think we'll ever warm up to her.
Karasuma ID Sorry about that. She was hired on government orders. Still... Being able to complete all her preparations in a single day proves she's an assassin of the highest caliber.
Koro Sensei ID So what did you want to talk about, Irina-sensei?
Viche {\an8\i1}Assassination by infiltration requires flexibility toward one's target. {\an8\i1}I'm up against an unidentified life-form. {\an8\i1}Best to do it quickly, before he gets suspicious.
Viche Korosensei... I... I always fall head over heels for exceptional people. With your body, your strength... It was love at first sight.
Koro Sensei ID Oh, er, uh—
Viche Do you think that's strange of me?
Viche {\i1}I need to be as forceful as necessary to distract him {\i1}so that he won't notice what's {\i0}really{\i0} going on. {\i1}I spent all night fixing up the place. {\i1}All to hunt you down, {\i1}target of mine.
Viche You're a bad boy, Korosensei.
Koro Sensei ID We can't do this! Not here!
Viche {\i1}You foolish, foolish man. {\i1}Farewell. Give me a minute to take all this off. All? Relax. It'll be all over before you know it. All?! {\i1}Live ammo and real guns. {\i1}An M61, {\i1}an M134, {\i1}and an M249. {\i1}All spraying ammo with superlative speed and firepower. {\i1}Those weird pellets won't be necessary. {\i1}After all, there's nothing this barrage of bullets couldn't kill. {\i1}Firing sequence complete in three, two, one, {\i1}ze—
Koro Sensei ID I regret to inform you that lead bullets are useless against me, Irina-sensei. They simply melt inside my body. Now, take a good look at my face.
Viche You have... {\i1}four{\i0} eyes?!
Koro Sensei ID No, two of them are nostrils.
Viche They look the same!
Koro Sensei ID I detected a metallic odor and an old-man smell that wasn't present in this shed until yesterday. They were so out of place as to open my nostrils.
Nagisa Shiota ID Korosensei has a keen sense of smell for someone with no nose.
Koro Sensei ID By pretending to be caught in your trap, I could easily uncover my assassin. In other words... as a pro, you clung too tightly to \Nconventional assassination methods. My students' attempts are far more flexible and formidable. And did you know? My retaliation takes the form of care and grooming.
Viche No!
Hinata Okano ID What was that?
Taiga Okaijama ID Gunshots, a scream... and now slithery sounds?
Viche No! No...
Taiga Okaijama ID He's slithering her silly!
Hiroto Maehara ID Let's go!
Nagisa Shiota ID Korosensei!
Taiga Okaijama ID How are the boobs?!
Koro Sensei ID I would've liked to enjoy myself a little longer, but thoughts of our classes together drew me away.
Nagisa Shiota ID Wh-What happened in there? Miss Bitch is wearing a wholesome, retro P.E. outfit!
Viche To think he did all that to me in just one minute... He loosened my stiff shoulders and back, gave me a lymphatic beauty massage, changed my clothes at top speed, and did that slithery thing with his tentacles...
Taiga Okaijama ID {\i1}What{\i0} thing?!
Nagisa Shiota ID What {\i1}did{\i0} you do, Korosensei?
Koro Sensei ID Oh, you know, grown-ups need grown-up care.
Hinata Okano ID That is {\i1}not{\i0} the face of innocence!
Koro Sensei ID Now, back to the classroom, students.
Hiroto Maehara ID Yes, sir!
Viche {\i1}This is unforgivable. I've never\N suffered such an unsightly failure! {\i1}I vow on my professional reputation to repay him for this disgrace!
Viche {\i1}I'll show that octopus that a pro doesn't give up so easily! {\i1}I'll need all-new supplies.
Viche Dammit! Why doesn't this podunk school have wi-fi?!
ID Karma You're trying awfully hard, Miss Bitch. Guess he really did a number on your pride, huh?
Yuma Isogai ID Sensei?
Viche What?
Yuma Isogai ID If you're not going to teach us anything, could you bring back Korosensei? We've got entrance exams this year.
Viche Ha! You want that vicious creature to teach you? You think your exams matter \Nwhen the whole planet's at stake? Must be nice being a clueless brat! Not to mention, I understand you Class E \Nstudents are the dregs of this school. Why even bother studying at this point? I know. How about this? If I successfully assassinate him, \NI'll give you five million yen each! That's far more than you'd stand to gain from a bunch of useless schoolwork! So shut your dumb mouths and do as I—
Ryunosuke Chiba ID Get out.
Hiroto Maehara ID Take a hike, you stupid bitch!
Kaede Kayani ID Bring back Korosensei!
Viche Where'd all this come from? I'll kill you all!
Sosuke Sugaya ID I'd like to see you try!
Kaede Kayani ID Yeah, that's right! Down with big boobs!
Nagisa Shiota ID {\i1}That's{\i0} your problem?
Viche What is {\i1}with{\i0} those brats?! How are they not grateful just to be breathing the same air as a woman like me?! I don't think they see it the same way you do. Hence the class riot.
Karasuma ID You should apologize to them. If you want to stick around \Nlong enough to try again, that is.
Viche Why should I? Do I {\i1}look{\i0} like a teacher to you? Let me focus on the assassination!
Karasuma ID All right. Come with me.
Koro Sensei ID Erromango, one of the islands of Vanuatu, \Nor the New Hebrides...
Viche What's he playing at?
Karasuma ID He's writing test questions. That's what he does every Wednesday during sixth period.
Viche He's sure taking his sweet time. At Mach 20, he should've finished ages ago.
Karasuma ID He writes different questions for each student. They take into account the students' strong and weak subjects.
Koro Sensei ID Chiba has spatial figures down pat. Why don't I throw in a trick question to mix things up?
Karasuma ID He's a creature of superhuman intelligence and speed who's out to destroy the earth... and yet his teaching work is close to perfect.
ID Toka Yada Take this!
Karasuma ID Now look at the students.
Viche They're just fooling around.
Karasuma ID That activity trains their ability \Nto strike a moving target with a knife. It's called assassination badminton. I taught it to them.
Viche Huh?
Karasuma ID Target and teacher, assassins and students... Here, in this bizarre classroom that \Ncame about because of that creature, everyone has two roles to play. You make a big deal out of being a professional, but if you can't be both an assassin {\i1}and{\i0} a teacher, that makes you the most inept professional here.
Hiroto Maehara ID You okay?
ID Toka Yada Sheesh!
Karasuma ID If you want to stay here and continue going after him, don't look down on these students.
Viche "You are incredible in bed." Repeat. Come on!
Students "Y-You are incredible in bed."
Viche When I assassinated a certain VIP in America, the first thing I did was seduce his bodyguard. Those are the words he said to me. They mean: "You screw like nobody's business!"
Nagisa Shiota ID {\i1}Just what are you making us junior high kids say?!
Viche It's often said that the fastest way to learn another language is to get yourself a lover who speaks it. You want to know what they're feeling, so you try your hardest to understand what they say. I've had a many opportunities throughout my work to learn quite a few new languages that way. Therefore, my lessons will teach you how to sweet-talk foreigners. The basics of endearing conversation, straight from a pro assassin: master them and they'll come in handy with a real, live foreigner.
Rio Nakamura ID {\i1}A foreigner!
Viche Let that octopus teach you what you need to know for your exams. The only thing I can teach you is practical conversation skills. And if you {\i1}still{\i0} don't think of me as a teacher, I'll give up on my assassination and leave. Y-You're okay with that, right? And... I'm sorry about everything else.
ID Karma Why so nervous? You were\N threatening to kill us a moment ago!
Hiroto Maehara ID She's totally a teacher now.
Hinata Okano ID We can't call you "Miss Bitch" anymore.
Viche You... You understand!
ID Toka Yada It {\i1}was{\i0} a pretty rude thing to call a teacher.
Hinano Kurahashi ID Yeah. We need something else.
Hiroto Maehara ID How about Bitch-sensei?
Viche Er... How about we move away from the whole "bitch" thing? Just call me by my first name. I don't mi—
Hiroto Maehara ID That "bitch" thing really caught on, though.
Hinata Okano ID Yeah. "Bitch-sensei" fits her way better than "Irina-sensei."
Manami Okuda ID Well, there you have it. Welcome, Bitch-sensei!
Taiga Okaijama ID Let's get started, Bitch-sensei!
Viche I hate you all {\i1}so much{\i0}!
Koro Sensei ID She's fitting right in.
Karasuma ID More or less.
Viche You think you can mess with me? You damn brats!
Koro Sensei ID Thank you, Karasuma-sensei. I want my students to be able\N to converse with an actual foreigner, and really, who better than a globe-trotting assassin?
Karasuma ID {\i1}Did he seriously see all this coming?
Koro Sensei ID {\an8}Time to top off my sugar reserves after all that hard mental work!
Karasuma ID {\i1}He stubbornly refuses to say \Nwhy he chose to teach E Class. {\i1}But the more we make it the \Nperfect place for an assassination,
Viche {\an8}I'll give you "Miss Bitch"! Do it right!
Karasuma ID {\i1}the more we end up making it \Nthe perfect place to learn.
Hiroto Maehara ID {\an8}Aren't you cute?
Viche {\an8}I am {\i1}not{\i0}!
Karasuma ID {\i1}This monster's got us all wrapped around his little tentacle.
Koro Sensei ID {\an8}There'll be a big taste test tonight

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